Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's rum buckets o'clock
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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