the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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