I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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