I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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