Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
