I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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