This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
