I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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