Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
