Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
