went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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