Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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