Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
