wat bout pragnant strippers??
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
