There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize