Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
