Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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