Fuck appropriateness.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize