i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
