Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
