But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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