I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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