its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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