No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
