in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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