Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
