My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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