This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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