i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
