You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
