I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
