I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
