let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize