So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
