are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
