Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
