rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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