Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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