The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
