you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
