I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
