Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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