ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
