I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
