apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
