Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
