Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Randomize
