Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
