her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
