Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i need some magic done to my vagina
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize