There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Hippo gnu deer
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize