marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
