Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Two words: nipple clamps
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