He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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