found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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