Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
