If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
