The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
