What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
